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Single-isms. [Sep. 8th, 2004|06:04 pm]
[.Emo. |calmcalm]
[.Tunes. |Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz-Uhh Ohh]

I'm never single for that long of a time, am I?

Eh. Going out with BRIAN.


Sounds so odd. I've been friends with him for a while, it's weird that he asked me out. I liked him for a really long time, and now that I'm going out with him...I don't. It's weird how these things work. I don't want to go out with him anymore. He talks dirty to me. And...


When I think about Brian, I respect Chris. I mean, at least he gave me space. Alexis doesn't want me to break up with him, because I guess he wants to kiss me at the dance.

Personally, I don't want him to kiss me.

I don't like him. At all. Not even as a friend for now. Now that I know how he really is.

Anyways, nothing else has really happened... Pretty happy right now because I have no homework, which is unusual.

Well, I'm going to go eat.

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Anthem [Sep. 6th, 2004|07:09 pm]
[.Emo. |ecstaticecstatic]
[.Tunes. |ANTHEM!]

Me and Libbie have an Anthem:


Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I just stared out my window
Dreaming of a could-be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)

Trying not to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray (I would pray)
I could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway


Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around wild indoors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway



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(no subject) [Sep. 4th, 2004|10:06 pm]
[.Emo. |hyperhyper]
[.Tunes. |Let them eat War-Bad Religion]

I said are you gonna be my girl...?

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Castle's N Coaster's [Sep. 4th, 2004|05:51 pm]
[.Emo. |geekygeeky]
[.Tunes. |Faint-Linkin Park]


Yesterday I spent the night at Jessica's.

It was quite fun...


The adventure.Collapse )

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(no subject) [Sep. 2nd, 2004|08:48 pm]
[.Emo. |depresseddepressed]
[.Tunes. |Breathe-Blue Cantrell]

I really hope Colin comes home...soon.

I cry that he's gone.

Not knowing where he is, what he's doing.

His friend, Cedric (cool as hell), wrote this poem...

It touched me.

3 white boys in the world of today
don't know which ways' up for down, and got so much to say
but aside from rebellion, their lives are quite good
just 3 white boys,
no ghetto,
no hood.

and they've been together so long, just a very long time
coming onto life, they speak in unison,
they speak with a rhyme.
their steeds of sincerity and innocence,
drive them further ahead into tomorrow.

but it's sorrow,
that fills up one's head and brings him down
and he prays that his hopes don't come down now
but the world's gone away,
he's still there, but it's dead
and he's wounded now, scarred.

the 2 other boys couldn't see what had happened,
their lives were in the shade
a degree so cool, the one boy knew not of what it was made
so sometimes, you must burn
and he did just that then

the other 2 moved on, and he wasn't heard from again.

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... [Sep. 2nd, 2004|08:11 pm]
[.Emo. |ditzyditzy]
[.Tunes. |Set Phasers to Stun-Taking Back Sunday]

Where is the love?
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Feel that pang of REGRET. [Sep. 1st, 2004|08:11 pm]
[.Emo. |gloomyJust mehself.]
[.Tunes. |Paranoia! Cha-Cha-Cha ~ Rock Against Bush CD]


Today...I just wanted to cry. Wanted to go home. Wanted to be little again. Needed to be little again.

People started saying shit about the acne on my back because I was wearing a top that showed my back, and I had my hair up. It's just one of those times you feel like everyone is staring at you.

I'm sorry


Oh well. What else is new?

I wish people would just accept people for who they are. Not judge them on what they look like. It's been...what? ABOUT SIX YEARS since you people haven't gotten over judgen. Immature.

Just plain immature.

It's strange. Now that I broke up with Chris, I feel that familiar pang of regret. REGRET IS THE WORST FEELING...EVER.
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Let The Good Times -R-O-L-L- [Aug. 30th, 2004|08:24 pm]
[.Emo. |fullfull]
[.Tunes. |Alexis' voice]

Yes well...good news!

I broke up with Chris!

1 year seems like such a long time for me. I don't think I'm ready for a long term relationship yet. He seemed really sad, but he's in Kansas, I would hope he knew it would never work out. I know I did. I've tried so many times but he's talked me out of it. He's moving back in November, but I think we'll just be friends. It's just he was an alcoholic/drugdealer and personally, that's just not me. Not saying anything's wrong with people who do it but yeah.

I feel like such a free spirit now that I'm free!

Free. Such a beautiful word.

Anyways. I'm over the other entry...I know who I am. I am a dork, an outcast. My true friends are Ashton, Kael, and especially Libbie and Alexis. I don't know what I'd do without them. I know that I don't like people sometimes, but I have that with everyone. I need to accept that.

I feel so...alive. It's crazy. For once...

I am who I am.

P.S. Libbie made Volleyball. Damn I love that girl.

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. [Aug. 28th, 2004|05:32 pm]
[.Emo. |boredbored]
[.Tunes. |Diamonds and Guns-Transplants]

So yep Kaitlyn spent the night last night. She had a really cool corset-like dress and we took pictures with eachother in it. Speaking of corsets, I'm looking for one on EBay right now =). Wooooot wooot! I love those things.  Yep. So this morning we woke up at about 11:00 or so and we went with my dog to safeway to get Starbucks. There was this bitch there and she told us to get out. Because we had a dog. She's lucky I bought stuff there. Oh well. The starbucks was good, though.

It's weird.

The more I think about it, the more I don't really...like any of my friends. I use these things so I don't have to lie. Why must I, you ask?

Because I want to be accepted.

For who I'm not!?

Doesn't make sense, but I'm trying to fix this problem. Really, the only person that I think I like is Libbie. I mean, I love her to death, but sometimes I hate her. I, for one, go by the "Don't worry Be Happy" motto. She worries so much it's like...no...neveragain.

I am so unsure about myself. I don't know who I like, or don't like. The only thing in the world I'm sure about is that I love my family and my dog.


I don't know if this ever will go away...Hopefully?

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